


You're One of the Few Things That I'm Sure of

by BehindTheRobinsMask



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Batkids Age Reversal, Canonical Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26147617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BehindTheRobinsMask/pseuds/BehindTheRobinsMask
Summary: All the people that I love, all the people that I need, they could all disappear. I know they can. I’ve seen it happen. But the one thing that I’m sure of, the one person I’m sure of, it’s you, Jay.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Comments: 9
Kudos: 140
Collections: JayDick Summer Exchange 2020





	You're One of the Few Things That I'm Sure of

**Author's Note:**

  * For [epistemology](https://archiveofourown.org/users/epistemology/gifts).



> Song: The Few Things by JP Saxe ft Charlotte Lawrence

**i.**

Since he was a child, Dick had always known that life was uncertain. Nothing was set in stone and change was inevitable. He could try and run from it but it would always follow, cornering him until he gave in. Everyone just assumed that since he grew up with the circus, all he had ever known was a carefree life, one full of laughter, fun and infinite playtime. They assumed that he didn’t know sadness or pain until the big tragedy of course. But even when his parents were around, Dick could sense their worries, the emotions of uneasy radiating from their bodies in waves as they tried their best to smile for him. He sensed Haly’s anger on days when his crew was mistreated or shows were cancelled. He sensed the crews’ confusion when they didn’t know if they would earn enough to make ends meet. 

But because he was a child, no one opened up to him. Because he was a child, it was easier for him to smile and focus his attention on other things. Because he was a child, he learned in secret that the real world could be cruel even before he watched his parents fall. 

Life was uncertain. Dick knew that so he always looked for things he was sure of, things he could hold onto, things that would never let him down. And since he was a child who had only seen the inside of the circus tents, his family was it for him. As long as he could hold onto his father’s hand when things got tough, as long as he had the warmth of his mother’s smile to see him through stormy nights, he would be alright. He would survive. 

Yet, the one thing that he was sure of was taken away from him, proving that he didn’t understand life as much as he thought he did. 

Now, eight years old, everything Dick had ever known, everything he had come to depend on had been taken away from him. His parents, his friends, Haly and the circus, they all belonged to a world he could no longer be a part of. Instead, he sat in the corner of the orphanage he had been placed at until he found a new family. If he found a new family. While the other kids ran around, playing games without any worry, Dick could only wish to go back in time, to somehow make things right, to somehow hold onto his parents’ hand and never let go. 

“Dick Grayson?” The caretaker called out for him and Dick reluctantly looked up. 

Since his parents had passed away, people had been coming in to see him like he was just another attraction at the circus. They cooed at him. They pitied him. They made promises of coming back for him but in the end, never did. Today seemed to be one of those days so Dick took in a deep breath, clenched his fingers and walked over to where the caretaker was. 

“Today’s the day, Richie,” the caretaker said and Dick groaned internally.

While he had repeatedly told her to call him Dick, the name that his parents used, she just wouldn’t listen. According to her, the pet name that was given to him was simply too vulgar.

“Your new family has come to take you home,” she added, giddy with excitement. 

Dick, on the other hand, frowned. He didn’t want to go home with the elite of Gotham who came by to pity him. He didn’t want to be their little charity case, a way for them to boost their status and seem sympathetic when all they wanted was fame. But since no one gave a damn about what he wanted, if push came to shove, Dick would run away. He would run as far as he could until he finally found a place where he had a choice. 

“Richie, say hello to your new father, Mr Bruce Wayne,” the caretaker said and Dick finally looked up, his eyes wide.

This man wasn’t one of the people who had visited him but Dick had seen him before. He was there, sitting in the audience when the wires snapped. He was there to assure Dick that one day, everything would be alright. He didn’t seem to pity Dick, instead, he seemed to understand him. 

Beside Bruce Wayne was a boy, one who was older than Dick but not by much, maybe ten or eleven years old. He was tall and lanky, freckles peppered across his cheeks and nose, blue eyes swimming with warmth as he smiled. And Dick recognized him as well. 

As chaos ensued in the circus with the rich gossiping, the police questioning everyone, people grieving and scared of what would happen next, no one really had time to pay attention to Dick. No one had time to notice the boy who had just lost everything. No one except for one person. While Dick stared at the ground, blaming himself for everything that had happened, blaming himself for not telling his parents about the conversation he had overheard between Tony Zucco and Haly, one person stood by his side. One person held his hand and gave him the strength to keep himself from falling apart. 

And that person was here now, with Bruce Wayne. 

“Hey there, Dickie,” Jason said, holding out his hand for Dick. “You ready to go home?”

Since his parents’ passing, Dick wasn’t sure of anything anymore. His future, his present, it all seemed so uncertain. But in all that uncertainty, Jason’s hand seemed like a lifeline, one that could save him from drowning, even if it was for a moment. Not knowing what else to do, holding onto just a little bit of hope, this time, Dick let himself be saved. 

**ii.**

Sitting on the staircase that led to the living room, through the bannister, Dick watched as Jason flirted or at least tried to flirt with a girl in his class. Something about the whole situation made him feel uneasy. Though a part of him also wanted to laugh because Jason was anything but subtle and the girl had shot down all his attempts up until now. It seemed the only thing she wanted to do was finish their project for history class. 

“Whatcha doing, baby bird?” Tim asked, sitting down beside Dick. 

“I’m watching Jay fail at flirting,” Dick answered, eyes still focused on Jason. 

For a while, Tim didn’t say a word and continued to stare at Dick. He tended to do that a lot but Dick never really understood why. It wasn’t that Tim hated him or was wary of him. In fact, he had been so accepting of Dick since the day he had arrived at the manor, welcoming him with open arms. Sometimes, when his nightmares got the best of him and Jason wasn’t around to talk him down, Tim would do his best to help Dick, often letting him sleep in his room. He even took it upon himself to make Dick feel as comfortable as possible, calling him things like ‘baby bird’ and ‘robin’ the way his parents used to when they were alive. But more often than not, Tim would just stare at Dick, his eyes calculating. It was as if Dick was a puzzle that he was trying to figure out. 

“You weren’t surprised at all when I sat down beside you?” Tim suddenly asked and Dick glanced back at his brother. 

“I heard you coming,” Dick answered and a small smile spread across Tim’s face. 

“I see,” was all he said and then he was gone, phone in his hand as he hurriedly dialled a number.

Not knowing what that was about and used to his brother’s antics, Dick just shrugged and went back to watching.

  
  


*******

Dick liked to believe that he was used to surprises. That nothing could really pull the rug from under his feet. Yet, here was standing in an underground cave that existed beneath the manor, one that seemed to house the batmobile. Pressing his hands and face against the window of the car, Dick stared inside with absolute awe. Never would he have imagined that his adoptive father was the Batman. Yes, he always knew there was something shifty about the older man, especially since his demeanour kept changing from fun and aloof to serious and terrifying. It was like the old man had a switch that kept flipping on its own. But Dick had always just assumed that alcohol brought our Brucie Wayne and soberness brought the man who regretted all his high-induced choices. Another theory was that some days Bruce was constipated while on others, he was not, a variable that weighed heavily on his mood. How was he supposed to know that he was actually so broody because he was a crime-fighting vigilante?

“Step away from the batmobile, Grayson,” Damian snapped and Dick did as he was told, bounding away from the car and snuggling up to his oldest brother. 

While Damian hated any kind of body contact, always pushing away his other brothers, he accepted Dick. 

“Will you stop sticking to me, Grayson?” Damian asked, his lips pulled into a frown but even though he asked this question, he had an arm wrapped around Dick’s shoulder.

Grinning, the younger shook his head, “I like hugging you, Dami.”

“More than you like hugging me?” a voice called out and excitement filled Dick’s bones. 

“Jay!” he called out before jumping into Jason’s arms as he entered the cave, all decked up in black and red kevlar. “You’re Flamebird?” 

“The one and only.” Jason grinned, hugging Dick and keeping him close. “Tell me I’m your favourite superhero.”

Dick thought about the question as his brothers fought, “Hmmm. My number one superhero is still Superman.”

“Aww.” Jason pouted. “Where do I rank in your list?”

“A definite number two!”

“I’ll take it.”

“Wait! If he’s second place, where does that leave Heretic?” Damian asked but before Dick could answer, Bruce cleared his throat. 

“Dick, we brought you down here for a reason,” he started, the atmosphere changing to a much serious one as he spoke. “This secret that we shared with you, only a few people know it, people that we trust and people that we work with.” 

As Bruce spoke, Dick clung onto Jason, his fingers gripping the older’s arms because a part of him could guess what Bruce was about to ask him. And a part of him wasn’t sure if he was ready to take the leap. But that fear slowly faded away as Jason’s grip on him tightened, holding him up once again. 

“If you want to, all those feelings of resentment, anger and guilt that you feel, I could help you channel them into something else, something that will help people,” Bruce continued and while his face was passive, there was a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. “What I’m asking is, if you want, I would like to give you a chance to be my partner.”

Dick’s eyes danced around the room, from Bruce to Tim and Damian and to Jason who smiled at him warmly, the way he did on that day at the orphanage, the way he did whenever he knew that Dick was scared or nervous. It was a sign that let him know everything would be alright, a sign that no matter what he chose, he would not be alone. 

Taking in Jason’s smile and assurance in his eyes Dick inhaled deeply. He then looked at Bruce and grinned. 

“I would love to!” 

After a week of thinking of an identity, going through one name after another while considering being a successor for his brother’s mantle, Robin was born. Unlike Batman’s previous sidekicks, this one was a bit different. Instead of melting into the shadows, Robin wore bright colours and attracted attention, he laughed as he flew through Gotham, and the very sound of his enjoyment was enough to let criminals know that their time had come. Occasionally, Robin would team up with Flamebird and together the two of them would terrorize criminals not with threats but poorly done imitations of Batman. 

And just like Jason said, Dick was alright. 

  
  


**iii.**

Like a storm, Dick rushed through the cave, his cape fluttering behind him as he ran up the stairs, skipping steps so he could reach the top faster. Behind him, he could hear Alfred’s voice, chastising him for wearing his uniform in the manor, a rule the butler was adamant never be broken. While Dick was a good boy who never wanted to make Alfred angry (well he tried but that damn chandelier was so climb-able. Could anyone really blame him?), today, he was just too excited to change before heading upstairs. 

After three years of being Robin, he had finally gone for his own solo mission. No batman. No overbearing brothers. Just him and the criminals of Gotham having a good ole’ time. Well, Dick was having a good time while the bad guys made a run for it but those were just minor details. He was sure that one of Joker’s henchmen had an enlightening moment when he gave him a lecture about what it means to be a real clown. 

As Dick landed in the living room, he noticed Jason sprawled on the couch, phone in his hand as he scrolled through his social media. 

“Jay!” Dick exclaimed, dive-bombing right onto the older. “You won’t believe what happened to me today!”

“Damn, Dickie, you gotta stop doing that,” Jason wheezed as Dick adjusted himself, straddling his hips instead of sitting on his stomach. While the new position made Jason raise his brows, a slight blush filling his cheeks, he didn’t say anything. “Now, talk to me. How was your first solo mission?”

After that, Dick gave a detailed report to Jason about everything he had done during the night, his hands moving theatrically as he really got into the story. The whole time, Jason watched him with adoration, sometimes doing his best to not laugh and others laughing so loud that Damian screamed at him to shut up. 

“Looks like you had a lot of fun.” Jason grinned and Dick nodded. 

“I… Today, it felt like I was made for this, you know?” Dick said, finally calming down as he spoke. “It just… everything felt so real. Until now, a part of me was scared that I was just pretending to be like you, Dami and Tim. That I was just someone filling in your shoes.” 

Jason didn’t say anything as he reached out to stroke Dick’s cheek, letting him continue, letting him finally be open about the feelings he had been trying to hide. 

“But today, I was Robin. Just Robin. Not Batman's sidekick. Not anyone’s replacement. And it felt so good, Jay. I no longer feel like I’m pretending,” Dick finished, his lips pulled into a big smile as relief flickered in his eyes. 

“Well, then, I guess I should officially welcome you to the vigilante life, eh, Robin?” Jason grinned.

*******

“Come on, Titus,” Dick called out, leading the black Great Dane back to the house after a long walk in the manor grounds. 

Since Damian was out on a mission with Tim and his team, someone had to look after Titus. While the obvious choice was Alfred, a sudden overseas business opportunity had pulled Bruce away from Gotham and he had taken the butler with him. That left Dick alone at the house with just Jason. This meant a lot of responsibility fell on the two of them. They not only had to look after the house, Damian’s many pets that ranged from a dog, a cat, a chicken and a cow to a dragon bat named Goliath but they were also responsible for the safety of Gotham city. Of course, since the two of them were still young, Bruce had Superman come by to constantly check on them during patrol. And when he couldn’t make it, Wonderwoman did. 

Jason and Dick really looked forward to the nights Diana came by. 

Opening the door, Dick had just let Titus back into the house when he smelled smoke. Someone was smoking. 

“Be good now,” Dick said to Titus before shutting the door and following the scent that led him straight to Jason. 

While Dick’s first instinct was always to run straight into Jason’s arms, to feel the warmth that always calmed him down, the one that always made him feel at home, something about the older made him hold back. With his eyes rimmed red, Jason looked crestfallen, so sad and broken that it hurt Dick. Carefully, he stepped towards the older but even though he knew Dick was there, Jason didn’t really react. He just continued to smoke even as Dick linked their arms together, leaning his head on Jason’s shoulder. 

“Babs broke up with me,” Jason finally said, his voice full of so much pain that it made Dick want to cry. But he wouldn’t. Not when Jason needed him. Taking in a deep breath, Jason continued, “I mean… I’m not surprised. Since the day she agreed to go out with me, a part of me knew that we wouldn’t last long. She’s so bright and beautiful. And me? I’m just a rat from the sewers. But I couldn’t help it, Dickie. I liked her so much.”

As Jason spoke about Barbara, their relationship and the way he felt for her, there was a stinging pain in Dick’s chest, one that he couldn’t understand. One that he chalked up as nothing. After all, if Jason was in pain, it would hurt Dick too. 

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you,” Dick muttered, gripping Jason’s arms. “You’re not a sewer rat. You’re not bad and you’re definitely not unworthy. The Jason that I know is bright and beautiful in his own way. He sees when people are hurting, he becomes their strength and he does it all with a smile. The Jason that I know is brave, so damn brave that sometimes I wish I could be just like him. The Jason that I know, he saved me so many times and if Babs could see him too, she’d realize she was a fool for breaking his heart.”

Laughing softly, Jason placed his hand over Dick’s, “You’re too good to me, Dickie.”

“I…” Dick opened his mouth and then had a moment of hesitation. There was a lot he wanted to say but he didn’t want to make this about himself. However, he needed Jason to know that he was needed, that he was loved. Right now, that was more important than anything. “I… I’m not sure about a lot of things,” he finally said, staring at the ground. “The future, even this moment right now, anything can happen. All the people that I love, all the people that I need, they could all disappear. I know they can. I’ve seen it happen. But the one thing that I’m sure of, the one person I’m sure of, it’s you, Jay. I know that no matter what happens, you’ll always be the one who brings a smile to my face. You’ll always be the one I look to, during my worst and my best.”

With his cheeks burning with embarrassment, Dick continued to stare at the ground, waiting for Jason to laugh, waiting for him to pull away. But that never happened. Instead, Jason hugged him tight, his face buried in Dick’s hair. 

“Let me stay like this for a while, yeah?” he asked, his voice so low.

Dick just nodded, a part of him glad that there was something he could do for Jason. Even though he had promised himself that he would never put his faith in another person, that he would never be sure of them, Jason was different. Dick didn’t know why but he just was. And he hoped that no matter how much time passed, this feeling, this certainty would never fade away. 

  
  


That night, as Dick slept peacefully in his bed, Jason was down in the cave, unable to sleep. To pass the time, he went through old case files, details about criminals, about the people that Bruce, including the people who lived in the manor. Unable to help himself, he looked up his own file and because of one moment of curiosity, he learned the truth that Bruce had been hiding from him all along. That night, Jason disappeared from the Manor and from Gotham city without a word. Soon after, Jason disappeared for good and there was nothing Dick could do to bring him back. 

  
  


**iv.**

As the rain showered down on Gotham city, trickling across Dick’s skin and into the crevices of his suit, despite his family’s many warnings, he flew from one building to another, frantic and desperate. He knew that his actions probably had his brothers worried, especially since he had decided to ditch his comms. To avoid trackers, he’d also worn an older version of his Robin suit. This way, no one could stop. At least he hoped they couldn’t. 

Dick never wanted to run away from home like this. He never wanted to defy Bruce. But the vigilante called the Red Hood was in town. He was in Gotham and Dick had to find him. He had to bring him home. 

It had been two years since Jason left home to find his birth mother. It had been two years since he died at the hands of the Joker, taken too soon from the world, taken too soon from Dick. After that, everything had fallen apart. The place that Dick called home suddenly felt empty. He no longer felt like he belonged there. Something was always missing, someone’s smile, someone’s warmth. And Dick was back to feeling unsure, back to fearing the future. 

But even when he was lost, even when he felt terrified of what was to come, he smiled, for his father, for his brothers. After all, he wasn’t the only one hit by Jason’s passing. So, whenever they came around, Dick smiled. He laughed and he told jokes. He held them close and he made sure that they knew they were loved. He did all things that Jason would have done when he was alive. 

A year ago, a vigilante had appeared in Gotham, one who killed, one who juked Batman at every turn. It was as if the Red Hood knew exactly how Batman operated, the way his mind worked and the next action he would take. If they weren’t sure that the man behind the Hood was a normal human, one would think he could see the future. When the time came to confront the vigilante, however, Dick had been given strict orders to stay away. After Jason’s death, Bruce had become overprotective, so careful that sometimes Dick felt like he was being locked away. But he couldn’t deny Bruce’s orders, not when he knew how dangerous the Red Hood was. At least, that’s why he thought Bruce had told him to stay away. 

One day, while alone in the cave, Dick did something that he never thought he would. He hacked into the computer. It wasn’t an easy task but for him, it wasn’t all that difficult either. As he went over the so-called restricted files, he came across the data Bruce had collected on the Red Hood, and as he went over every line, a realization dawned on him, one that horrified and overjoyed him. Even though it wasn’t explicitly stated, Dick knew that the Red Hood was Jason. It had to be him. Jason was back. He was back. And Bruce was trying to keep Dick away from him. 

That day when Bruce returned, he and Dick fought. They screamed until their throats were raw, they screamed until Dick ran away, from Bruce, from Gotham because he could no longer stay with the man who had hidden something so important from him. Eventually, Dick found himself at Damian’s door in Bludhaven and the oldest of his brothers was more than happy to take him in. 

While Dick and Bruce had mended their relationship since, Jason was still a sore spot for them both, his identity now known by everyone in the family. Unfortunately, no matter how hard Dick tried, he couldn’t find Jason. The Red Hood had just disappeared. 

That was until he was sighted in Gotham. Once again, Dick was given orders to stay away but this time, he wasn’t willing to listen. Jason was so close and Dick was sure that if he reached out, he could bring him home. 

As Dick flew through Gotham, looking for the one he wanted to see, he saw him standing by the harbour, back to the world as the rain pelted down on him. He was taller now, much taller than the last time Dick saw him. And he was no longer a lanky, awkward boy. Instead, he had grown into muscles, ones that showed through the fitting of his black and red suit. Even though he had changed, even though he looked completely different than the innocent boy who always smiled for him, Dick was sure that he had found Jason again.

But instead of greeting him the way he always did, when Jason sensed his presence, he turned around with a gun in his hand, a gun that was pointed straight at Dick.

Frozen where he stood, Dick didn’t know how to react. While he was told that the Red Hood was dangerous, that he was volatile and unpredictable, a part of him just knew that Jason would never hurt him. He was the Jason who made him laugh, who held his hand when he had no one, who made his heart beat and feel things when he wanted to run away from the world. How could he ever,  _ ever  _ hurt Dick?

“What? Bats too afraid to face me himself?” the Red Hood asked but even through the voice modulator, Dick could tell that he was shaken up. 

Even though he had a gun in his hand, Jason was just as scared as Dick. And if he was scared, that meant he was still the same person, no matter how deep down it was. So, while most people would call him a fool for making this decision, Dick greeted Jason the way he always did, by running straight into his arms. 

Jason's body stiffened as Dick’s arms wrapped around him, as his face buried in the crook of his neck. The gun stayed up, pointing at no one. The hand that held it shivered and trembled as Jason slowly realized what had happened. 

“Are you stupid?!” he growled even though he was holding onto Dick now, holding on so tight as if he needed him to survive. “I point a gun at you and run in to hug me?”

“It really is you, Jay.” Dick giggled despite the tears that were streaming down his face. “You’re here. You’re really here.”

“Dickie…” Jason whispered as though he didn’t know how to react. As though he didn’t expect such a reaction from Dick which was confusing. Why would Dick be anything but happy to see him? He was Jason. He was everything. 

Pulling back slightly, Dick placed his hand on Jason’s helmet, wanting to remove it but the older shook his head. 

“If you don’t do it right, you’ll blow both of us up,” he whispered, removing the helmet himself, the right way. And there he was, all grown up but somehow still the same. 

Cupping Jason’s face, Dick couldn’t help but smile, “Are you seriously wearing a mask underneath your helmet?”

Surprise flickered across Jason’s face before he grinned, a sight that Dick had missed so very much.

“Fuck off, Grayson,” he said but just like Dick, there were tears trailing down his cheeks, tears that Dick wanted to kiss away. 

But instead, Dick just held Jason close. He held him to protect him. He held him because he was afraid that if he let go, Jason would disappear again. And Dick could not lose him again. He wouldn’t lose him again. 

“Come home, Jay,” Dick finally whispered as the rain began to let up, the sun peeking through the dark clouds. “Come back to me.”

“I… I can’t, Dickie,” Jason whispered, his body trembling from the cold, from all the emotions that he felt. “I want to be with you. I never want to leave you. But I just… I don’t deserve you. I’m so damn broken, Dick, Something just ain’t right about me and I can’t… I can’t hurt you because of that.”

Hearing him say that, Dick couldn’t help but smile, remembering a conversation they had long ago. 

“The Jason I know could never hurt me,” Dick said, repeating the words he had said before and as Jason opened his mouth to protest, he continued. “And it doesn’t matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been this whole time. To me, you will always be my Jason. To me, you will always be my home.”

“How can you say that?” Jason asked and Dick knew that he was falling apart, that he had reached a point in his life where he had maybe given up on hope, on any kind of redemption or happiness. Now, he had chosen to live for his mission, ready to go through with his plans no matter what the cost. 

“Remember when I told you that you were the one person that I was sure of?” Dick asked and Jason’s breath hitched in this throat. “That never changed, Jay. And it never will so don’t leave me again, okay? Come home.”

“Home,” Jason whispered, his grip around Dick tightening. “Home.” He nodded. 

Dick and Jason went home, not to the manor, not to Bruce or his brothers. No. They went to a place where they could heal, where they could be together without bearing the weight of the world’s judgement. Because as long as they were together, any place could be home. 

**Author's Note:**

> When I saw this prompt, I just knew that I had to write something for it. Robin age reversal fics are just a gold pot of inspiration. I hope that you enjoy reading the fic as much as I enjoyed writing and that it was everything you hoped for when you wrote down this prompt. I swear I tried my best to reel in the angst.


End file.
